Army of One

Big Red One:idea:
After writing about my time in a bottle, I became more aware of my pattern of isolation.

I occurred to me that a lot of things I did as a kid and young adult were things I did no my own, the same as now. My adventures that I have chronicled here, such as my Emergency Exit and my Time in a Bottle, were escapades that I intentionally took on all by myself. In fact, the goal was to accomplish them on my own.

Many of these things could have easily been done with a companion or group. In fact, I probably would have accomplished more if I had others around to motivate me further. That is a basic tenant of physical training. We can all buy a DVD on exercise, but you really do better when you have a trainer who can push you. You will do even better with a group, that feeling of competition causes us all to dig a bit deeper.

But my tendency seems to have always been to try these things on my own, intentionally. I do not know if that is an outgrown of social anxiety and my discomfort with people, or if doing those things enhanced social awkwardness and created a comfort in being alone. It is that basic chicken and egg issue. Which really came first?

Writing about these things, both my emotional issues as well as my adventures and activities, I am getting a clearer picture of how far back my inclinations toward isolation goes. Perhaps someday I will figure out which came first and why I operate as an army of one.

Sifu Keith Mosher

About Sifu Keith Mosher

My new book, "Astro Boy, Sensei, and Me" is available now, as is my Sci-Fi joy ride, "On a Sphere's Edge". I have a Bachelor of Media Arts degree from USC. I have been an Audio Producer / Engineer, a Law Office Manager, and I am currently an Author and a Martial Arts Instructor.
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2 Responses to Army of One

  1. Avatar marie says:

    When I read your Time In a Bottle. Who were you thinking about. Was it your past or part of your future?

    • Avatar Keith says:

      I wasn’t thinking about any specific person. At that point, I had prevously had one girlfriend, Lisa, but that was a short thing. I had just met Scooter and we were just starting a friendship, but nothing serious at that point. I was not really thinking about any person or any time, past or future. I was struck by the title of the song, “Time in a Bottle” as well as the lyric, “But there never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them.” That made me think about what I was doing at that time, riding that bike. I realized it would not matter how much time I had, if I enjoyed it, it would never be enough. It also made me realize that accomplishing something like riding a long distance had no real meaning. It would not matter to anyone else. It only mattered to me. As such, it didn’t matter if I rode 100 miles or 50 miles. Once I felt I had riden far enough, there was no need to ride farther.

      I guess that is part of being isolated. What I do matters to me alone. Did I do enough? That is up to me and me alone. Could I do more? Probably, but that would depend on the need. If I am proving something to myself, I may fall short of some mark because I have determined that I could make the mark if I needed too. The mark becomes pointless. It is about one’s own feeling of accomplishment.

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