After writing about my time in a bottle, I became more aware of my pattern of isolation.
I occurred to me that a lot of things I did as a kid and young adult were things I did no my own, the same as now. My adventures that I have chronicled here, such as my Emergency Exit and my Time in a Bottle, were escapades that I intentionally took on all by myself. In fact, the goal was to accomplish them on my own.
Many of these things could have easily been done with a companion or group. In fact, I probably would have accomplished more if I had others around to motivate me further. That is a basic tenant of physical training. We can all buy a DVD on exercise, but you really do better when you have a trainer who can push you. You will do even better with a group, that feeling of competition causes us all to dig a bit deeper.
But my tendency seems to have always been to try these things on my own, intentionally. I do not know if that is an outgrown of social anxiety and my discomfort with people, or if doing those things enhanced social awkwardness and created a comfort in being alone. It is that basic chicken and egg issue. Which really came first?
Writing about these things, both my emotional issues as well as my adventures and activities, I am getting a clearer picture of how far back my inclinations toward isolation goes. Perhaps someday I will figure out which came first and why I operate as an army of one.