I originally started blogging as a means of dealing with my Social Anxiety Disorder. I wanted to find a way to meet people, at least in the virtual world, as well as discuss social anxiety and express my own experiences in order to learn about my fears, as well as find ways of dealing with my isolation.
It has been a while since I have written a blog post specifically about my social anxiety or attempts to meet people or any other related issues. Is it that those issues are no longer important to me, have they been resolved or solved? No.
You cannot wallow in the same pit endlessly, doing so create a kind of feedback loop of self-fulfilling prophecies. In addition to blogging as a means of self-help, I do other things which I have mentioned in various posts, such as relearning how to play the piano and star gazing.
In some ways, these other hobbies as well as blogging play right into a socially anxious person’s wheelhouse. Playing the piano is, or can be, an isolated experience. Something you do on your own. Star gazing and using the telescope is also something that is pretty much a solo activity, likewise for blogging, especially when very few people comment. The fears of being socially ostracized do not exist as I sit at home and type on my word processor, or play on my piano, or focus my telescope on a planet.
During the time I have been blogging, which in a few months will be a full year, I have come to recognize my social anxiety. I have come to recognize that I am uncomfortable around people. I do not dislike people, but I realize that I do get drained around them, trying hard to not let loose some personal faux pax. I have also come to recognize that I do not have nearly as many personal deviations as I think I do. All of us are unique. We all have our quirks. Mine are not any weirder or more deviant or more numerous than yours. But I have also learned that I think they are.
The quest continues, even though it may not be evident every day, even though it may not appear in every post.